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"Yes, But to Yes, And"
Activity
Summary
Participants practice two approaches to a discussion; one approach feels adversarial, the other collaborative. Participants will feel their opinions are validated.
Instructional Strategies
1. With a partner, choose a topic to discuss or a decision to be made, such as where to travel on a vacation.
2. Person A states their idea, and person B responds with, "Yes, BUT".
3. Continue with the discussion; responses to each statement start with, "Yes, BUT".
4. Next, with the same partner, try the same discussion but follow each statement with a response that begins, "Yes, AND".
5. You will notice that "Yes, BUT" can feel argumentative, adversarial, and can even shut down the communication.
6. However, "Yes, AND" feels collaborative, allowing people to re-direct in a respectful way; agreements can usually be reached and each person feels validated.
Participant Tasks
1. With a partner, choose a topic to discuss or a decision to be made, such as where to travel on a vacation.
2. State your idea; your partner responds with, "Yes, BUT".
3. Continue with the discussion. Whoever follows the next statement responds to each statement with, "Yes, BUT".
4. Next, with the same partner, try the same discussion but start each response with, "Yes, AND".
5. Continue with the discussion. Whoever follows the next statement responds to each statement with, "Yes, AND".
6. Notice that Yes, BUT" can feel argumentative, adversarial, and can even shut down the communication.
7. However, "Yes, AND". feels collaborative and allows you and your partner to discuss in a respectful way.
© Ceeds of Peace 2020