Provide spaces for youth to practice the skills of mediation between them as well as facilitation of group discussions and problem solving. Hone their skills in active listening, open-ended questions, leading with solutions, etc. Role playing different scenarios is an effective way to learn to mediate and facilitate. (See also: Rotating Facilitators)
Use discipline to develop character and not to punish. Discipline means “to teach” and should not be punitive but should help a child to grow as a person. Use consequences rarely, and instead focus on solutions. When appropriate, follow the “Four Rs” of Logical Consequences: 1) Related, 2) Respectful, 3) Reasonable, and 4) Revealed, in …
A great visual tool to show the imbalance of a brain that is experiencing anger or rage, and how it is possible for the anger and rage to subside, thus gaining control of our reactions. Get a clear glass bottle or jar, add water, glycerin, and glitter with a lot of sparkle (recipes and videos …
Mauka (mountain) to makai (ocean) management. In teams, draw an ahupua‘a (Hawaiian term for a large traditional socio-economic/geologic/climatic subdivision of land that was cooperatively managed). Then share different interpretations of land division. Discuss how responsibilities are shared. Have youth evaluate how this structure compares to their classroom or neighborhood or community responsibilities. Combine with a …
It is the AND that brings kind AND firm together to avoid extremes. Begin by validating feelings and/or choices when possible. Examples, “I know you don’t want to brush your teeth, AND we can do it together.” “You want to keep playing, AND it is time for bed. Do you want one story or two?” …
A basic tool to think through consequences, “If this happens, then what do you think will happen next?” or “If we decided to do this, then what do you think might happen as a result?” Brainstorm a variety of outcomes and consider the gains and losses, bounty and sacrifice, of each outcome. Get youth to …
More likely than not, when people are angry or upset, they are expressing their “position” or a hardline stance on something. It’s important to teach youth how to identify underlying needs and interests by asking open-ended questions to learn more. “Tell me more…,” “What would you like to see happen?,” “What do you need?” etc. …
Used to confront a behavior without placing blame on another. . Also used to recognize one’s emotions. Another use is to state a point of view without requiring the other person to agree with the point of view. To use an “I” Statement, start a sentence with “I” and describe how you feel, without including …
When a young person is in the throes of anger, panic, or emotional outburst, often their minds and bodies are experiencing a stress response whereby they literally feel unsafe. Instead of yelling at them or isolating them, let them know that they are safe. Try saying, “I am here for you. I love you/I care …
After analyzing the information surrounding a problem or challenge, what is your reaction? Were the systems fair? Why or why not? Identify one or two youth to do video interviews with fellow children/students to learn their reactions. Compile them into one video piece. For young children, this can be facilitated by parents, caregivers or teachers …
